Hoarding Opiates in a Post-Obamacare World

I just had a small, benign tumor removed from my right index finger and I’m typing this very awkwardly, with seven fingers and two thumbs. You don’t know how much you need your right middle finger until you try to type the letter ‘I’ without it.

But I have something I want to say, and I figure I might as well say it while my finger is still numb.